SlushWire Weekly #15 – April 12, 2026

10queries

Well, #revpit and #revpitwaiting pretty much done it seems. I MAY have spotted my MS in 1 #10queries but not sure… Question is… now what? More self editing in hope I’m heading in right direction? Keep querying? (I’ve only queried 12 so far…) or abandon & write something new…. Decisions decisions…

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P20: There’s a bit of a tonal imbalance. The stakes of the moment are quite serious but the MC’s interiority is unintentionally laissez faire. We need to balance the wry humor better with the emotionally charged moment.

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Q20: A SF Focus more on the characters and the conflict and less on the comps. Comps are important, don’t get me wrong, but the query is about your story, so don’t lose that focus. Give us more clarity on why we want to read the book for the book’s sake.

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P19: We’re in a tight spot with the set up you’ve started with. We need more internal struggle from the MC so that we can connect with what’s happening more. Their struggle will clarify the action for you.

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Q19: A SF There is a lot going on here and it can be hard to follow. SF stories are often like that because of the high-concepts. But focus in on the character and the political undertones to really sell it.

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P18: Great verbiage but repetitive descriptions. Push us further with the action and emotions and don’t worry so much about your word choices. You’re great at them, so focus elsewhere.

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Q18: A H Lovely and intriguing, but unclear if this is the whole plot or if there is more to come. It should be a tease that shows what the book will be about. Is this extended set up or the entirety of the book?

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P17: Great place to start, but we’re lacking grounding. A lot is being thrown out there without emotion or information to ground us in what it means. Use interiority to your advantage.

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Q17: A H A bit of a muddy set up. What is the MC up to and why is it dangerous? What are the stakes and why do we care about the relationship? Give more emotional stakes to make us care.

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P16: The pages are much darker than the tone of the query, we need to match them so that they complement each other. I love a dark opening, but make sure the query reflects that mood.

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P15: We need more personality and voice from the MC. Who are they and why do we want to spend time with them? It’s hard to open on a happy moment without conflict because we show more personality in conflict.

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Q15: A F This is really fun, but I’m having trouble seeing how we’re getting from point A to point B. How do these things connect? Who are the characters outside of jobs? There needs to be a flow when explaining a series of events.

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Q14: A F Lovely set up and character work. But give us bigger hints as to the big secrets. We can’t just know that there are secrets, we need to understand why they would be important.

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Q13: A F We’re spending a little too much time on the set up. What is the threat and what is being threatened? I love the voice but need more focus on the risks.

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P12: Lovely grounding and voice, but I think we’re starting in the wrong place. There’s a lot going on that isn’t reflecting where the story is heading or what the main conflict will be about. Show the GMC more.

writingcommunity

#WritingCommunity When should I look for an agent if I decide to go traditional publishing? I’m considering it but I also know that some agents will help self-published authors.

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Q12: A SF Very strong query but it is running a little long. Tighten up the stakes and main conflict at the end. Why isn’t the conflict easy to solve? What is the basis for it being so difficult?

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P11 The voice is wonderful here. I know exactly who the MC is and everything they do is through the lens of their voice. Be careful again with too many metaphors as they lose power the more of them there are.

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Q11 HF This one is so intriguing but there are a lot of leaps in thought that aren’t clear enough. Be careful with idioms/metaphors because it can muddy the waters (hah, me using one) of what is actually happening.

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Guess what y’all?! It’s time for my last #RevPit #10Queries session! Are we ready to go? How are we feeling today? Are you annoyed with my Qs and just want me to get to it? As a reminder, here’s the legend: bsky.app/profile/from…

10queries

And here is the thread for my second #10Queries session! (Linking here just for ease of access) bsky.app/profile/raqu…

MSWL

Book Broker: an interview with literary agent Jane Dystel “Our agency receives hundreds of query letters a year. I ask to read about 50% of them” darlingaxe.com/blogs/news/b…

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And that’s all of them! If you think you saw yours, call out. 😉 If you have any general questions about the querying process, please ask. I’ll be here for a little while. Again, direct feedback (marked-up letters and pages) will be delivered to my #10queries authors next week. 🙂

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Q20 YA C There’s a LOT of quick-moving dialogue in these pages without anything between. No movement, just back-and-forth. MC’s tone is juvenile & maybe a little unlikeable. This the best place to start? I want to see MC more settled & less at the start of this part of the story.

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Q20 YA C Based on MC’s age and university/college, this might be NA instead. Comps are getting “old” so keep an eye. I love this title; I think it really sets the tone of the story before even having to read it. I’m just not sure I can identify the stakes from this summary.

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P19 YA C Page 1 tells me there may be a love interest after all! I’d like to see that in the QL if it’s a big part of the story. A lot of backstory in the pages and I wonder if they’d be better elsewhere. I’d need to read more to determine. I do like MC’s voice.

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Q19 YA C Ooh, this one is for fans of Fault in Our Stars/Five Feet Apart, minus the romance? Lots of good stuff in the QL, but perhaps a bit too much about the author and not enough about what happens in the story. We have the why, but I’d like a few details for how/what.

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Q17 A R Great letter. It has everything it needs except one more comp. I do think it sounds more contemporary than romance, though. It feels like the romance is a subplot, from the summary, anyway. Either way, I’m eager to read these pages.

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P16 YA M Love the opening line. I don’t love the omni pov. There’s a decent amount of head-hopping in these opening pages, and even though I really like the content, it’s difficult (for me) to read. This could be entertaining (the QL definitely is)!

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Q16 YA M This letter is great! I would request one more book comp, but structure is great. Characters-check. Conflict. Stakes. Word count should be good. I thought, perhaps, this would be dual pov but I snuck a peek at the pages and that’s not the case. Still sounds good, though!

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Q15 A C Great metadata para, except one comp is 6yo now. Break up the summary para; long paras can be difficult to follow. There’s mention of family issues but I don’t see how they’re relevant to the story. Spend more time on that point so we understand what it means to the MC.

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P14 YA F I really enjoyed these! We learn so much re: setting and the MC in the first few pages, and I appreciate getting to experience an important custom. Perhaps a lot of names dropped in here, but they’re spread out so it doesn’t feel like too many. I’d keep reading.

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Q14 YA F Great letter. Good comps, structure, details. I only hesitated because it was seems like this book wouldn’t have closure, that the story would continue into book 2. Advice is usually to make sure Book 1 can stand alone, as multi-book offers aren’t too common for debuts.

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A13 MG F Minus opening paras, we’re into the adventure! Action is fun and easy to follow. I’m not sure I 100% understand the “magic” of what may or may not be happening in this moment. Can’t tell if the moment in the QL is happening here or if this is a tease of some kind.

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Q13 MG F I’ve worked on books like this one before, so I know the concept can work if it’s done well. The MC is a little too old for MG, and I can’t identify what’s at stake or what the character truly wants from the summary provided.

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Q12 A R I like this one! Reads like a summary for a Hallmark movie. The question is whether it’s R or BC, and the QL definitely sets it up to be R. Good structure, summary. I see characters, conflict, and stakes. I like the bio too. Really not much to do here. Good work!

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P11 A H I do like this, but it reads summer sleepaway camp over 20s-with-jobs. Feels young for adult audience. Lots of names dropped and fast conversation. I would need to read more and I almost wonder if page 1 is necessary.

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Q11 A H Definitely something I’d read for funsies. QL needs a bit of rearranging, just moving the paragraphs around to allow the reader to fully understand the story and vibes. Bio looks good, and I appreciate that the humor alluded to stretches to the bio para, too. Good work!

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Again, thanks so much for submitting this year and allowing us to get a peek at so many wonderful projects! Feedback will be sent to those who have been highlighted via #10queries next week.

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Annnnnd we’re back with my second (and final) #revpit #10queries batch to keep it all together! I’m continuing with this thread (below), so look for Q11 as a reply to Q10. Please review the notes at the top if needed.

pubtips

Caught! by ✉️ Slushwire: “[PubQ] unsure how to leave my agent” https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1sft2z9 Track all alerts at https://writequeryhook.com

RevPit

I’ll try to get my word count down. Polish my QL and first pages and get back out there with querying 💪🏾. Aside from that will work on the loglines for a few new ideas and see what sticks 😊. I’ve learned my lesson: loglines before drafts this time!

RevPit

Use feedback from #revpit and beta readers to polish my sub and start querying. Then work on outlines and 1st drafts for a few other ideas rattling around this old brain rather than refreshing my email for query responses (she lies through her teeth). Overall, just keep swimming.

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I chose these because the log lines hooked me right away and they cover a good range of genres. Great job, writers 👏👏👏 Stay tuned for my next round of #10Queries later today!

RevPit

Can you see how this is leaning into what makes this book marketable? If you slap a word count, comp titles, and bio on this, it could be a query letter. And this is what your query needs to do for your book

writingcommunity

As the #WritingCommunity prepares for #ProfilePit, we are pleased to announce that this pitch event has CONFIRMED literary agent participation! We can’t wait to see what you all come up with. See you, tomorrow!

RevPit

FWIW the synopsis then shows that you can carry that through the whole story, beginning to end. That’s all we need a synopsis to do.

RevPit

So when I say lean into what makes your story* marketable, I mean, how do your materials show that you are using the reader’s expectations with intent? How are you crafting the reader’s experience of your story? The query sets that expectation, and the pages show how you follow through

RevPit

Your logline/pitch and synopsis are part of this too. They each play a role in showing agents that you are not only a fabulous writer but that you also know har readers in your market expect. Because that’s what a successful author can do

RevPit

Your query package’s job is to show agents how they can sell your book to pubs. So the materials need to do that. The query letter says “this is a why readers and publishers will be interested” and then the sample pages need to do what the query said they do

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P 25—Perfect start point, & feels like a reward for curiosity encouraged by QL! Some internal MC info almost feels like it distracts from current stakes—which are SUPER engrossing. Maybe weave in suppressed interior conflict slowly, focus first on MC’s baseline external conflict?

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Q 25 A SF— LOVE premise+comps! Always cool to see a bio tie in w/ book elements. Could see small tweaks to trim or condense MC & worldbuilding info. This is a great example of where we stray (SLIGHTLY) from trad QL structure & it works because it adds up-front grounding clarity.

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Q24 A F—Great structure+plot overview—what sticks out are character balance+dynamics. Main focus seems blended in way that might be difficult to manage. Can main QL thread be refined? Hmm. But super intriguing premise! AU’s vision aims toward a high bar set by great fantasy books.

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Q23 A F — Solid structure, but note where the phrasing is getting a little crowded, see if it’s diving too far into one specific plot point. Really drawn into this premise! A tiny bit more worldbuilding info could clarify central conflict. Some of my favourite things in this one!

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P22—Such a good opening, UGH!! Raises some questions about character dynamics presented in the QL, but in a way that makes me want to turn the page. Really feels like we’re diving into MC’s mind. It’s easy to forget this is written by an AU and not just HAPPENING.

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Q22 A H—Woahhhh, love this premise! I’m kind of shocked this manages to be so short since we’re really digging into the plot. RE: MC’s actions/desires/statements that create a huge shift—can these be highlighted via precise language? Some key sentences are a little hazy.

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P21— Oooooh, such a fun balance of snark & spook. Would love a tiny bit clearer hook about what MC is doing; it’s THERE but quick and subtle and I wonder if there’s a way to weave it in a bit more w/ MC responses? But either way, I’m along for the ride just for the voice and MC.

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Q21 A SF H—This premise has me asking so many questions that make me want to dive into the book! Good job keeping QL trim & tidy with book-hook-cook structure. Great bio paragraph; highlights the cooks in the kitchen & tells us exactly why AU is perfect to write this story.

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P20—THIS emotion is what I want to see in QL! Excellent starting point & great MC interiority. Bring your STYLE into the QL! Great sentence length variety, compelling rhythm, subtle worldbuilding details (tbh wanted even more to establish SF tone, but gradual works too). GREAT!

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Q20 YA SF—The comps+inspo reinvested & reengaged me, because then I could see the emotional thread that needs to be fortified in the rest of the QL. Clarity & straightforwardness are working against how we need our heartstrings tugged. Pull!! Excellent work keeping it short!

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P19 — Polished language matches the QL, but pages felt distanced from MC. Would love to see just a little more build-up to the heart of the conflict. It’s introduced so nonchalantly that it feels like a missed opportunity to create tension! Really want to see this at full stride!

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Q19 YA M SP—Short and sweet, great structure, polished to keep below 300 WC. MC’s struggles are clear, but there’s a haziness around an antagonistic force that I would love to see refined just a tad. This hostility is key to plot, but what is MC’s internal response?

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Q18 A SF—Excellent intro; trim out micro-specific plot beats throughout. Focus on big story arcs, you’ll see what you can cut! Love the out-of-the-box premise and down-to-earth MC. Great job with the overall structure!

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P 17—Curious that we start with MC2 when it seemed like MC1 was centered in QL (again, making me think QL maybe needs some restructuring?), but voice is very compelling! Great job making sure that we’re NOT getting an infodump of tech info, plus snappy pacing. Good work!

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Q17 A SF—It may seem that factions complicate & necessitate the length, but I really think this could be streamlined. Despite that, v good work w/ character dynamics. Framing makes me wonder if 1st paragraph happens before book, or is during book? I can see ways to zip this up.

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P16— We’re positioned so close to the MC—it’s satisfying as a reader, but opening pages have such a micro-level focus that I wonder if it could be more effective here for us to learn background info via on-page event. If kept the same, maybe condense? Still, solid character work!

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Q16 YA F R— Broad statements about the themes and takeaways can be cut. If submissions aren’t yielding results, could be useful to condense if QL is over rec’d word/paragraph count. But aside from this—clear GMC, great balance of MCs, stakes, voice—excellent job!

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P14 — Lots of great books start off w/ a bang, action, sentences with overflowing prose, & we can forget about small hooks, quiet, angled on stilts like foal finding legs—& how they WORK, gathering the rhythm to run. Would love to see couple more tense spots, but overall—so good.

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Q14 A H— Story paragraphs=bang on! : 1—MC background+goals. 2—Current circumstances+MC’s obstacles. (Tidbit of specificity needed, clarify antagonists). 3—What MC will DO+threat central to story, unanswered question, hook. Could book info sections could be inverted+woven together?

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Q13 A F— Solid personalization here, voicey, concise, & direct! Great GMC, would love just a bit more direct language to give clearer shape to the challenges MC faces. If too broad, starts sounding like a synopsis. Romantic hook feels a little wobbly but sticks the landing!

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P12 — Great voice! I’m soo curious if scene break is necessary; seems main sentiment can just be woven into the main thread, no break/jump needed. Would love to get stronger sense of MC1 outside of reflections on MC2, plus setting details (where are we?). Really want to read more!

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Q12 A F R— Short & Sweet! Great structure, clearly polished; gets in, gets out! One aspect was a little unclear—how are both MC1 & MC2 caught up in same circumstances? Important to get a sense of this dynamic and causation. Tiny amount of detail would help smooth this!

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Welcome back #RevPit Crew✨ it’s my second and last #10Queries session! Spending time with these stories has been giving me LIFE, and I hope you have fun reading through the vagueness 👀 I also decided to throw in a couple more at the end, so happy guessing! 😜 Threading below! 🧵

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And that’s a wrap on my second #RevPit #10Queries. If you have any questions, ask away. Thanks for hanging out with me!

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P10 – Wow. Didn’t want the pages to end. Perfect YA voice. Vivid setting. Fantastic emotion and tension. Strong characterization. I wanted more details for your MC’s motivation/purpose for what she’s doing. Suggest adding MC’s name to chapter heading since this is dual 1st POV.

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Q10 – YA FH – Love the vibes. Great pitch. You could tighten some, but the key elements are there. I’m curious what your FMC’s magic is. That’s vague. For market positioning, maybe pitch this as dark fantasy instead of fantasy-horror mashup and find comps to reflect that.

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P9 – Really enjoyed these pages. You have fantastic setting details and atmosphere. Though I loved your MC, the voice read distant. I wanted more interiority, emotion, and tension surrounding who she saw, where she was going, the event, and disappointment afterward.

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Q9 – MG F – Fabulous query. I adore the premise. MC’s characterization is so strong. Clear GMC. I suggest strengthening the last two sentences of the pitch for specificity and clearer stated stakes. Though this is fantasy, WC is too high for the current MG market.

MSWL

“I love psychological thrillers with an unreliable narrator, bonus if it the plot is related to a crime or conspiracy.” Elizabeth Guthrie #MSWL psliterary.com/submissions/

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P8 – Love the voice. Got glimpses of MC’s characterization, but much of this was about other characters and MC observing. For me, there were too many characters introduced at once. Might be more effective to tweak the opening to focus on the main two characters here.

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Q8 – YA H – Love the vibes. Captivating premise. I suggest raising WC to at least 70k. The pitch started strong. Around the middle, I started getting confused by details. Written like dual POV, so if dual POV, state that in the QL. Would love personal stakes.

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P7 – Enjoyed the voice. You have something special here. For me, this doesn’t start in the right place. The inciting incident happened before, off the page. I suggest opening with your MC and her friends, showing her status quo with tension, before her world flips upside down.

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Q7 – YA R – Adore the premise. I love the music element. The pitch is fantastic. Clear MC, GMC, and stakes. Try to condense some, but overall, strong. WC is low. For YA, I suggest 70k minimum. WCs below that make me think the book is underdeveloped.

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P6 – You had some super intriguing moments, especially toward the end. The story starts with your MC waking up and going to school, an opening seen a lot. I suggest starting in a more original place. Voice has mostly telling, too distant. Try to deepen POV through interiority.

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Q6 – YA F – The pitch shimmers with vivid details and atmosphere. Your logline mentions a strange magic that isn’t developed in the pitch. I would love specifics on your MC’s powers and internal GMC. Stakes aren’t clear at the end. Love the vibes overall.

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Q5 – YA T – Love the premise and dark academia. You have a lot of POVs, so QL is long. Maybe condense the setups for each, then share more about how they work together and the conflicts they face. That part was vague. Recently read one of your comps and loved it.

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P4 – Incredible writing. Golden voice. Amazing sensory details. Maybe cut the telling from the beginning and work that in organically. Once your MC is caught, I would love more emotion and tension. She could be more on edge. Curious how long her magic will last.

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Q4 – NA FR – Compelling and unique. Clear MCs and GMCs. Love forbidden romance. Could better state internal/external stakes at the end. Try to get the WC under 100k to give your book its best shot. Pitch is long. See where you can cut details that aren’t definitely needed.

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P3 – Incredible. Golden voice. Laughed out loud. Amazing characterization. Absolutely hooked. Took a little bit to get to the scene. Maybe tighten the interiority at the beginning. I would love more setting details. I wanted a stronger sense of place. Fantastic overall.

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Q3 – A HR – 5 stars for bringing out the voice in the pitch. So compelling. WC feels too low for adult. Unsure on genre. This was subbed as H, but QL says paranormal romance. Those are different. Would love a bit more on the romance element and clearer stated stakes.

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Q2 – YA R – Love the premise. I would have devoured a book like this in HS. WC feels too low. Would love more specifics on the romance to highlight characterization. The story covers a lot of time. Developmentally, you might want to focus the book on the main trip.

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P1 – I’m practically drooling. This is so good. Obsessed with the voice. Incredible writing. Maybe cut back on dialogue tags and use more action beats to tighten things. Hint to the magic earlier in the pages for foreshadowing. Still getting vague vibes for why MC is there.

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Q1 – YA UF – Fantastic query. Clear MC, GMC, and stakes. Love a secret society. Pitch is compelling. MC’s reason for being set free and why she was captured are too vague. Would love specifics on the magic to show what sets your book apart. Overall, though, amazing.

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If you have any general questions, whether you think I’m talking about your submission or not, feel free to ask those. Let’s get started.

writingcommunity

Want to catch an agent’s eye? Start with a killer query: hook, brief synopsis, and bio. Tailor each submission and follow guidelines. Patience pays off, publishing can be a marathon, not a sprint! 📝

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P9—Really engaging opening, but where is MC? Providing grounding info about the worldbuilding in QL would make this opening style less jarring. Big Q: Will we see any of these characters again? Hard to feel this is best point to start. Would love to see where it picks up with MC!

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Q9 A F—V intriguing MC & love the worldbuilding setup! 1st prgrph introduces more Qs than As; clear plot intro prgrph would help smooth. & for trad querying, could this exist as standalone w/ series potential, rather than set series? Big adjustment, yes, but could really help!

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P8 — Opening builds intrigue! Though pages feel very disconnected from QL—it hints at answering the MC question I had, but it’s difficult to understand how it links together. We begin to feel grounded in the genre, but would love to see some other worldbuilding-specific elements!

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Q8 YA SF—Great premise is buried here under nontraditional structure—makes info hard to follow & doesn’t guide eye. Book, hook, cook! Sentence w/ multiple loglines can go, let us jump right into plot info. Big Q: why is this MC “chosen”? Needs greater focus on internal trajectory!

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P7—1st line made MC relatable in a way that’s so essential, great work!! Love weaving of interiority&background& descriptive details—achieving that balance isn’t always easy, esp in SF. Would love to be just a tad closer to MC but sensing this is intended distance, & it does work!

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Q7 A SF R—Solid start clarifying MC world+feel. Little bit of a leap in explaining important relationships, jump from strangers to more w/o identifying what breaks down to allow change. Little long, but excellent trajectory overall, some tweaking will make this really sparkle!

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P6—Great!! Solid pacing& MC voice! Easy to understand why starts here, & works well to build tension. Elements of success: contained setting+circumstances that naturally force our focus on/into MC, illuminates baseline+SHIFT, & heightened external & (especially) internal emotions.

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Q6 A SF H—Love the comps! Immediate MC intro+transition to GMC, A+—looove the stakes. What’s standing out, though, is QL’s looking long. Big middle can go, bypasses providing hook & feels like we move into synopsis territory—when in doubt, return to traditional QL structure!

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P5—Wow, the voice is so compelling!! Was right about a prologue—could we start w/ Chp 1? Would LOVE this exact depth&personality carried into rest of book, would read it all! (Mind that shift if including a prologue! Voice shift risks losing readers that loved the initial voice!)

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Q5 A F H—Would love to see MC introduced more clearly, but opening sentence, wow! If possible, avoid big timeskips in QL—is it 1000% necessary? (Wondering if it’s outlining a prologue.) Stay hooky, not plot outline-y; zoom out, focus on MC+emotional arc! V great structure, though!

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P4—Great MCs! Initial voice feels a bit disconnected from setting outlined in QL. A shift in MC works to realign & reestablish book’s feel, but this shift needs to be more prominent in QL. Needs more room to let prose breathe, maybe increase book WC. LOVE the plot direction tho!

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Q4 YA F—This PREMISE!🤩😍—but: – Rhetorical Qs—not a shortcut to hook+suspend readers. Let direct, intentional storytelling carry vibe – Avoid list of takeaways; story info in QL=plot silhouette, stay close to MC/GMC – Structure begets clarity; loose structure -> mis/overexplaining

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P3—Great voice! A little thrown off by distance between pages & QL; intro here distracts from the meat introduced in the QL! Would suggest trimming off some of the runway to drop us right in. Super interested! Hoping later pages will also clarify what led to MC’s circumstances!

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P2—Wonderfully grounding when QL links right into pages! Would love to see immediate conflict highlight more about how MC is special w/in this world; not just practicalities, but perception (internal+external). Great voice (and the tongue in cheek personality made me LOL)!

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Q2 A F—Very smooth QL entry. LOVE grounded sense of character, but raises the Q—WHY does MC want this goal above all else? GREAT personality, but more foundational story/worldbuilding info would bolster QL, esp wrt non-MC characters. Little bit of wordiness, keep an eye on it!

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P1—Engaging & great details, even beginning at a lull! This works to provide background info+emotional context, but would love to see cleaner balance. Important tidbits rushed & opening setup feels disconnected from important story pieces. Super cool premise, want to see polished!

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Hello #RevPit fam, my second round of #10Queries is coming up on Friday, April 10, 2026, at 6 p.m., hopefully glitch-free this time. 🤞🏼 Feedback on query letters and first five pages is anonymous and generalized, so that everyone can benefit. If you guess which one is yours, that’s a bonus!

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Q1 A F R—V enticing premise! Info scratches surface about AU’s approach; precise language would be v helpful to understand story context+feel. QL story info has me questioning comp positioning. Antagonistic forces unclear. Dig—beyond broad themes& nonspecific hook language to GMC!

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Heyyy ✨Thank y’all for your patience as you’ve been #RevPitWaiting!! Time for my my first batch of #RevPit #10Queries! Threading below, live, so bear with me and let’s goooo 😉🧵

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P10: I love the voice. Why are we here though? I can infer but want a little more from the MC about their purpose and goals. Ground us in what they want and how they intend to get it. It’s a great start, but the MC is just floating here without clear purpose/motivation.

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Q10: A H Amazing voice in this one. However, the stakes rely heavily on a threat to a character that we know nothing about. Why should we care? Why does the MC care? Give a little more meat to this person so that we have something to cling to when their loss is threatened.

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P9: The interiority needs clarity. The voice is great, but the thoughts are conflicting and not in a way where the MC is conflicted. Give a little more context of why we’re here and why we’re upset.

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Q9: A F The stakes aren’t very compelling. Why are those the alternatives? Why is one thing at risk for another thing to happen? The must do X or risk Y needs to be balanced and make sense as a potential threat. Otherwise the formula doesn’t work.

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P8: We’re a little too lost in the moment without grounding to the MC’s motivations. Why is this so important to them? Why are we here of all places? Build momentum by adding emotional context and stakes for them.

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Q8: AF If you’re going to start with a one-liner, it needs to be epic. This one is ok, but not strong/intriguing enough to warrant it. You don’t need to have a powerful single line as a hook. Don’t stress too much about them. It’s better to not have one than to have a weak one.

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P7: Wonderful first line. I love a kiler first line. But then we get a little lost in the MC’s head. Ground us more in the surroundings and the action. Where are the other characters in relation to them? How did we get in this situation? Ground us in the MC’s body more.

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Q7: A F I want a slightly clearer understanding of the magic, as it is so important to this plot. We don’t need a long description, but a simple explanation instead of vague references is needed. How does it work and how does that affect the characters?

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P6: We’re conveying too much backstory. You’re doing it correctly with environment and important catalysts, but we don’t need all of it upfront. We can get to a lot of this later as it becomes more important. Don’t load up the first pages.

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Q6: A SF Don’t do too many comps. It can muddy the waters & be overkill. When there are so many references it feels like it doesn’t actually fit anywhere. Comps need to evoke the tone of the book, but most importantly show us where it will sit on a shelf, who will want to buy it.

MSWL

I’m mostly hanging out on threads these days (come follow me over there! Though, tbh, threads is mostly “moe yells about hockey” 🐧 ) Guess who has opened to queries again! Click through the posts here for my visual #MSWL. #querytrenches #queryingauthors #amagenting queryme.online/mferrara

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Q5: A R With a romance it is great to have the stakes tied up in love and losing that love. But you want to make sure the love feels real even within the query. If the love interests don’t feel equal or have enough going for both of them it can feel off-kilter.

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P4: Ground us a little more in the MC’s emotions and interiority. There’s lots of judgment, which is great, but how is it affecting them? What are they feeling? Interpret/convert the judgments into emotions and connections for the MC

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Q4: A F The personal stakes are given a lot of weight, but they seem like they’d be subsumed by the world ending stakes. Is the world not potentially ending here? Is it not a concern? We need clarity around the stakes and how they interplay with the MC.

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Q3: A FR There’s not enough focus on the conflict and where the story is going. I love getting to know the characters, but why we are here and where we are going is important. Don’t give us the ending, but give us the main conflict so we can understand where a resolution might go.

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P2: I’m mad at this one. I wanted to talk about the query because people rely on titles too much. But the pages are wonderful. So this is just me being grumpy. Enjoy.

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Q2: A F The stakes are great, but why is this at risk? What is the connection? How it all fits together is really important. It’s okay to name other characters in a query, especially if they have an important role to play. So don’t get too caught up in titles.

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Q1: A RF You’ve got really clear stakes and set up. But we’re lacking character personality. With any romantic leaning work, the characters are so important. Who are they and why do we want to spend time seeing them fall in love?

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It’s time! Are you ready for my first #RevPit #10Queries? To start with I want to be clear: You all have made this incredibly hard. There is amazing talent here and I’m so impressed with all the work you put in. It really shows when you do your research and try to learn how to write/query.

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And that’s all for this first set! If you have questions about any of these (even if you don’t think they’re yours), please ask. These are not private events because we want to educate as many writers as possible (for free!). So if anything inspires you, please ask.

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P10 A R Big fan of the first line! And the conflict is right up front, so easy, so instant. Love that. These tropes work together really well, and the first five pages are such an easy read. I could’ve kept going with this one. If the rest is this good, may not need a dev edit.

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Q10 A R Really good letter. I’d move the comps up to the metadata para at the top, but otherwise, it’s got great structure. Characters are clear, conflict is super clear, stakes — got ’em! My only thought here is that the word count seems a little low.

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Q9 MG C I love that this is inspired by a true story. However, MC is too old for MG. Seems like the theme could be for YA. The only other note I had was trying to figure out how long the MC had been in this setting before this discovery/event occurs.

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P8 YA SF/S Ah, POV question may be answered. Cannot confirm, though. Would be interested in seeing how all four POVs differ. Ch 1 would be better as a prologue, I think, as it has a collective voice. But Ch 2’s pages are great. Definitely nostalgic. I would read more of this.

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Q8 YA SF/S I like the idea, but the letter is missing comps and a clear audience. Are all characters listed POVs, or does one emerge as lead? Why has this group decided to act? Why them? Why bother? I get the stakes on a larger level, but I don’t know the personal level.

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P7 YA F Three chapters/two POVs in the first 5 pages is a lot of moving around. I’d recommend sticking with FMC1 to start so the reader can get to know her and understand her journey before switching over to FMC2.

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Q7 YA F This letter does a lot of telling: lists of what happens and in what order, lists of what readers will learn. Instead of a play-by-play, spend some more time on the FMCs and their journey so it’s clear who the characters are, what the conflict is, and what the stakes are.

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P6 A C The opening two pages, wow. I got chills. Without reading past these pages, I can’t comment on whether 3 first-person POVs are going to work, but so far the MS is very strong so I sure hope they do. I’d definitely keep reading more of this.

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Q6 A C Strong letter! One comp title is kind of “old,” and I think the summary is a little long, but cuts should be easy. I appreciate the metadata at top, and I wonder if there’s a way to also include the alternating POVs in that para, as well. That point is kind of buried.

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P5 A M Good start! The events listed in the QL are all already underway, including the mystery and the introduction of the LI. I’m not personally a fan of the present tense, but it might be something I could’ve grown used to with more pages. Maybe a few too many italic thoughts.

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Q5 A M Genre indicates mystery, the QL makes me think it’s romantic suspense, as much of the focus is on the potential relationship rather than the crime/mystery. If that’s not the case, removing some of the info about the MC’s LI should help. Does sound like a good read, though!

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P4 MG C Feels more YA than MG. MC’s focus and stressors have a more mature vibe. Real-world issues do need to be represented in fiction, absolutely, but look at your whole MG audience. Is this written with an 8-year-old in mind? Will they relate to these opening pages?

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Q4 MG C I’ve spoken about the need for “young” YA, and this might be better there. MC’s plate is FULL, and the list of things going wrong for her in the QL feels really heavy. Is there light at the end of this tunnel? I think the summary paras need a more focused rewrite.

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P3 YA C We learn quite a bit, but pages aren’t what I expected based on the QL. Is this the right place to start the story? Look at the event you highlighted in your QL that gets the story moving and shakes up the characters. Perhaps that’s the right place to start.

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Q3 YA C I like the reference to an agent’s list but there aren’t any other comps. Add 2 or 3. MC’s age is also missing, and that’s very important info for a kidlit QL. Logline tells me MC is 11, which would be too young for YA. I also can’t determine what the stakes are.

pubtips

a little Query Shark for ya: https://queryshark.blogspot.com/2019/01/ original content not ours but by queryshark.blogspot.com

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P2 YA F From QL, I wasn’t sure how MC would transport to the fantasy world. Pages show how it happens but I’m still not sure why MC was in this space to start. I appreciate that we jump right in, but I do think we need more than curiosity to move the MC forward.

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Q2 YA F Paras 1 & 3 of QL have repeat info; I’d delete para 1 and move metadata para right to the top. Metadata para mentions romantic elements but there’s no clear info in the QL who the love interest is (I can assume, but it’d be nice to confirm). Stakes are clear. I’m curious!

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P1 A C MR I don’t know if the prologue is just going over my head, but from what I’ve learned in the QL, I don’t understand what I’m reading. I’m usually pro-prologue, but this one isn’t working for me. However, the first section of your chapter 1 might work as a prologue.

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Q1 A C MR I like the premise of this MS, and I love that the focus is on rescuing a female friendship. That said, one of the comps is a romance novel, so I would swap that out. Also, the word count is about 10k too low for the genre.

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Reminder: I’m a big advocate of personalizing every query letter to show the agent/editor that you’ve done your research and would be a good fit for them/their list. Of course, you can’t really do that for #revpit, as we’re not trying to acquire your MSS. Just something to keep in mind.

RevPit

I’m seeing a lot of #RevPit subs being marketed as Adult that feel very YA in voice, theme, or both. Clarity on genre + age category is SO important for querying because it impacts which agents you submit to. This is extra hard when so many YA books feel like they should be Adult

writingcommunity

Biggest Querying Pet Peeves of Literary Agents (PART 3) Advice from Literary Agents themselves, on what to avoid and what they see a lot of in queries! You can find this article and more on our blog: writingdayworkshops.com/blog

pubtips

surfaced during our daily scan 💌: Agent Moe Ferrara opened to queries at https://querytracker.net/agent/6773 Discover more at https://writequeryhook.com

literaryagent

Excellent interview of @litagentsaritza.bsky.social of @andreabrownlit.bsky.social by @natalieaguirre7.bsky.social AND you can enter to get 45-minutes with Saritza! Win, win!

litagents

Attention #litagents and #editors we hope you’re hungry for a diversity feast👀 the #SWANA writing community will be sharing their projects in our #pitchevent on Friday 4/10!!

10queries

We have FOUR editors going live this afternoon and evening with their #revpit #10Queries threads! Please tune in to: @nicolefrailedits.bsky.social at 2 pm @fromcarly.bsky.social at 3 pm @raqueledits.bsky.social at 6 pm @leahrambadt.bsky.social at 7pm *All ET

writingcommunity

New Agent Alert! Rita Veras has recently started acquiring at Rosecliff Literary. Rita is looking for many genres of adult fiction! Discover the full MSWL and how to query on our blog: www.writingdayworkshops.com/blog

MSWL

Book Broker—an interview with Cecilia (CeCe) Lyra “I should be able to identify a book’s hook right away.” darlingaxe.com/blogs/news/b…

literaryagent

The #coveringletter is the first thing a #literaryagent will see from you. We’ll share examples of successful and unsuccessful covering letters help you diagnose the problems in your own letter! Book now: https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/events-and-courses/publishing-101-covering-letter